


Something old, something new.

by PogoGogoMojoJojo (Give_me_socks)



Series: Herb & Dot tie the knot [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves Friendship, Canon Compliant, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Minor Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26274910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Give_me_socks/pseuds/PogoGogoMojoJojo
Summary: Klaus finds himself bored and looking for entertainment at a wedding the Hargreeves are invited to. He starts drinking and people watching.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves & Lila Pitts, Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts, Herb/Dot
Series: Herb & Dot tie the knot [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1909042
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	Something old, something new.

**Author's Note:**

> I went into this to write some fairly plotless erotica, but Klaus' thoughts took over and so its now mainly a introspective on number 4, as well scene-setting for a post still to come.

Klaus sighed as he leant back in his chair and sipped his second glass of complimentary champagne that some careless person has left unattended. He was disappointing himself. This was a wedding, for crying out loud! Weddings were parties! Okay, they were parties that celebrated a lifetime of monogamy and the associated diminishing sexual returns, not exactly his bag, but he had still thoroughly enjoyed every other wedding he’d attended- one way or another.  
He almost always hooked up with someone (if he worked especially hard, more than one someone), usually made the most of the open bars and various narcotics catering staff always seemed to have on hand, and had on more than one occasion managed to create such impressively disruptive shenanigans that he was thrown out of the venue. Those nights were his favourite; they usually resulted in a jealous ex or disgruntled unrequited love who had slipped their way onto the guest-list following him out and continuing the party as a thank-you for making their petty dreams come true.

Not so today.

Admittedly he didn’t have an easy “in” with anyone at these particular nuptials. He knew that he had only been invited because he was Number Four and apart from his siblings, who never indulged his baser impulses anyway and were currently trying their hardest to look functional whilst mingling, he didn’t know anyone here.   
He assumed they were all commission. Aside from the difficulties of maintaining connections to people outside of an ultra-secret, extra-temporal, morally-dark-grey agency when you yourself were an active member, it occurred to Klaus that Herb and Dot were exactly the sort of nerds to only have work friends at their wedding anyway. 

Even out of their office attire he could recognize that the different departments were stubbornly refusing to mix as they chatted and drank. He glanced at the nearest pod of analysts- pretty straight laced, none of them even tipsy yet, but he was sure some of them would loosen up to a dramatic degree given a push, if only he knew which ones.   
Near the door to his right stood a group of ground operatives. More promising. More dangerous. Wild types who don’t like sitting still, he could work with that. But the memory of his brief interactions with Hazel and Cha-Cha kept him in his seat. As did the crowd of the dead filling the space by them.

“Fucks sake what’s wrong with me?” he whined.   
He pulled the lower lids of his eyes down as he wiped his face with his hands and looked to his left, at Ben. He wasn’t there. He spoke to his brother anyway.  
“This is your fault! When you were here, I was never plagued by self-doubt. I just did what I fancied and if you moaned about it, I knew I was on the right track” The empty chair didn’t reply.

The sound of a band warming up made Klaus clap his hands in relief. Soon there would be dancing and at least then he could move his body and not think. Most of his best stories started when he wasn’t thinking. As the band announced Herb and Dot for their first dance, he wound his way to the bar, passing the catering table at the entrance to swipe his third glass whilst everyone was distracted. Downing it on route he ordered a ridiculously named signature cocktail that he hoped had a fair amount of whisky in it and sat observing the room. Finally, he was starting to get a pleasant buzz going. 

Five was sitting a few stools down and raised his glass lazily. 

Ok, now this was an opportunity for fun.

“Do you not have old colleagues to catch up with bro?” Klaus asked, sliding himself across first one and then the second empty stool before perching next to Five. “No office romances to rekindle, scores to settle?” 

“Nope. I’m just as bored as you appear to be” Said Five, keeping his syllables clipped and his eyes straight ahead. “What the hell are you wearing”

“It’s a kilt, you uncultured swine. It’s the traditional formal dress of Scotland”

“Let me rephrase; Why the hell are you wearing a kilt?”

“It’s a formal occasion”

“You’re not Scottish”

“Don’t be such a spoilsport, we’re adopted, there’s no way you can be sure of that” 

Five seemed to bite back a retort and shook his head almost imperceptibly “I suppose I should be grateful it’s not a white dress, you look very smart” 

Only momentarily thrown by what seemed to be a sincere compliment, Klaus went back on the attack.

“I’m wearing it like a true Scotsman too” he smiled, playing with the hem in a suggestive manner.

“And that’s my cue to leave” 

Five hopped off the bar stool, still just too short in his young body to make the move entirely graceful, and stalked off, keeping to the edge of the room. Klaus could tell he noticed the eyes of the operations group on him the whole way, admiring, jealous, mostly fearful, but he was impressed with how good Five’s impression of not noticing was. 

When his brain wasn’t floating above everything happening around him, Klaus was quite a good people watcher. From that brief interaction alone, he had stored about three potential pressure points to try and squeeze mischief from later away in his brain. 

The room burst into applause as the first dance ended. Klaus swung his head back to face the dance floor as Herb and Dot beamed at the crowd and invited their guests to join them. This opportunity was met by the usually flurry of activity as the eager jumped up get involved, and those that wouldn’t be seen dead attempting to move with rhythm backed away with even more urgency. Klaus wasn’t interested in them though. He watched the undecided. The guests who had too much… something inside to grind, sway, twerk and two-step with abandon. Shame? No, that sounded too judgmental.   
He loved bringing the shy out of themselves, giving them that little push to indulge the way they clearly wanted too. They just needed a little Klaus! Of those hovering in between there were several that were quite cute. Klaus tried to commit their faces and outfits to memory to sweep them off their feet later. One noticed him looking and flushed but didn’t look away. Klaus laughed and suggestively crossed his legs, his kilt riding up with the movement, revealing a good amount of smooth thigh. The stranger nodded and pursed his lips together in a silent approving whistle.   
Oh yes, grey suit, blonde pompadour, Klaus thought, I’ll find you later. 

His eyes were drawn away by a polite commotion. The surge towards the dance-floor was parting at one point, splitting in half around Luther’s huge form as he stood blocking the most direct route from tables to the open space in front of the band. His brother shifted awkwardly, but noticed his error too late, he was trapped by the press of bodies. It was almost a full song later that the former Number One was able to step to the side. Waiting for him at the more convenient spot, in conversation with two commission employees were Allison and Vanya.   
Alison reached her hands out to ground Luther once more in the conversation. It was a tender gesture and one met with a grateful smile. Alison and Luther had been closer and more couple-like recently but nothing official had been announced to the family. Klaus thought they were probably not quite ready to risk the comfortable life they’d built for themselves since they had defeated two apocalypses and a massive timeline fuckup by taking that plunge. But it could only be a matter of time before they admitted to each other and the rest of them what was so obvious. Maybe they already had? Klaus was usually the last to know about important things.

With them, Vanya was shining. In a room of strangers who all knew about her powers but didn’t mind them she was as happy as Klaus had ever seen her. He understood, there was no need for her to worry about having to announce who she was later and being accused of hiding it or have people change the way they treated her. This was even more freeing than her bout of amnesia. Anyone she met at the commission would get to know her, the real her, and she seemed determined to chat to everyone in the room in case they were the best friend she’d never had. 

Klaus was sure he’d spotted a pretty woman at table 3 who had been giving off some fairly strong sapphic vibes. He’d have to test his instincts and send her Vanya’s way if he found her again. Maybe she could make more than friends?

Klaus decided to swallow his pride and go to join the small group containing his siblings. It was at least a way to meet two people, maybe they’d introduce him to more and he’d have people to play with until a wild caper formed. He half turned and requested another drink, something long and strong to keep him going. He saw there was a bottle on the table next to the group he was heading for so thankfully he should be able to get a refill.   
His long legs closed the gap between the barstool and ground with ease, and he strode out, mindful to keep his sway sexy in case the shy blonde man was watching him weave through tables and chairs. As he arrived, Luther was talking and Klaus slapped one of the women on the shoulder. She was much older than he had realized from the bar, but he didn’t change his approach. He knew how naughty grandmas could be. 

“I’m sorry ladies is my brother boring you, he does tend to go on sometimes”

“Oh, not at all” The one with Klaus’ hands on her shoulders said, smiling “He was telling us how you know Herb. Its lovely to meet you, Number Four, I’m Muriel, I operate the infinite switchboard. This is Mandy”

“Enchanté” Said Klaus, lightly brushing his lips against Muriel’s hand as he lifted it gracefully by the fingers. He stared at Mandy the whole time, who, to her credit, didn’t betray any feeling whatsoever. Klaus thought he saw the faintest upturn at the corner of her mouth as he let his interest play across his face. 

“Are you okay Klaus?” Asked Alison, her eyes falling to the drink he carried before coming back to meet his gaze.

“Oh peachy” Klaus said with a dismissive wave of the hand that had been resting on Muriel “Is everyone having a delectable wedding?” 

“It’s great” Said Vanya, looking around “I know Five didn’t exactly enjoy his time at the commission, but everyone I’ve met has been lovely” 

Following the sweep Vanya’s head made around the room. Klaus glanced into the corner he had been trying to avoid looking at, where the dead hovered like flies around the operatives’ circle. He swallowed and was sickeningly grateful that the fight with the handler had killed of all the most experienced agents and started a new kinder culture in the commission. He didn’t think he could have handled this wedding if the old guard were invited. 

He had every intention of tuning back in and listening to Muriel’s story about how she had found a second home at the commission. Then he saw Diego and Lila.

They were at the edge of the group but every head in it was turned towards them. Lila was telling a story that involved a lot of miming of graphic violence and the operatives were hanging on every word. Diego was sitting lazily on a table, his legs spread wide so his knees fell one either side of Lila’s body   
He hadn’t recognized his brother at first, even though he had seen his suit throughout the day Klaus was instinctively expecting his signature black get up. Between the navy tailoring and the haircut he’d got for the occasion, Diego looked like a new man. He was happily letting Lila do most of the talking, content to watch her approvingly, chip in occasionally and, Klaus noticed, openly admire the way her dress clung to her tight figure, knowing none of the commission men would dare do the same. 

For appearances sake, Klaus flicked his gaze back to Muriel, and smiled warmly at her when she next paused in her story, encouraging her to continue. Mandy gave him an eyebrow raise as though she knew exactly what he was doing but didn’t say anything. Klaus took another long sip of his drink and returned his gaze to Diego. He was genuinely happy for his perpetually angst-ridden brother to finally have something good. And he liked to watch him with Lila, Diego smiled more with her. But he wasn’t too proud to admit to himself that he probably would have been watching Diego in _that suit_ if he’d been sitting alone in his usual ball of misery. 

The band struck up a new song and Lila suddenly broke off her narrative, her body now tense as a bowstring. She turned till she was face to face with Diego and squealed in excitement. 

“Its our song!”

She grabbed her shoes, which Klaus just now realized had been hanging loose from Diego’s right hand, and slid them back on before pulling him to his feet. _Who had his brother become?_ Klaus wondered in awe as he put up not a shred of resistance and simply followed Lila to the dance floor. Now this he had to see up close. 

Klaus waited until an appropriate pause in the conversation he was part of but definitely not following and turned to Mandy.

“May I take you for a twirl, Madame Mandy?” Klaus asked, performing an elaborate bow, punctuated with a wink to let her know he appreciated her playing along. 

“Of course” she said and followed him. Once they were out of earshot of the other Hargreeves and Muriel she leant into Klaus and whispered “I don’t know what you’re up to, but I hope its fun. And you owe me a drink” 

Klaus laughed

“Since it’s an open bar, it would be my honor” He said, swinging Mandy closer to where Lila was singing into Diego’s neck. Klaus Smacked his lips. He could feel the fun part of the evening getting nearer and nearer to his grasp.


End file.
